However, if I'm being honest, it didn't feel much like a farm after we lost Sadie. Im not sure why but when she died I suddenly felt phony. I found myself, when people asked about the farm and what all we had on it feeling somewhat inadequate and after counting in the 2 goats, I was quick to add (almost out of necessity) "we had 3, but we lost one". As if that made us somehow more legit. And, even if it DID, it didn't to me.
Sadie was my lead goat as I mentioned before. She was also the only goat that had been handled well before we got her, and as such she allowed everyone who visited to pet and feed her without even giving it a second thought. When it was just she and I, we had a bond. She knew my voice and I knew when she was around due to the bell that adorned her neck. She would jump up on me like a dog might when their master returned home from work. For the same reasons even, both food and because she missed me. It was hard loosing her. In more ways than I realized at first.
She was sort of the true catalyst to this venture. If you visit the farm, you may take note of a silhouette outline of a goat atop our mailbox, painted black and wearing a bell. And while she wasn't necessarily by any means the "prettiest," she was mine, and I loved her. In fact, when she died, I didn't intentionally do so, but I looked on the other 2 with a mild disdain and bitterness. The 2 beautiful goats left behind, we had only REALLY gotten in order to make Sadie happy (and stop screaming). They were "Sadie's friends" and now she was gone and we were left with "them". Don't get me wrong. I loved them, as skittish and standoffish as they were. I guess I was just at a place of disbelief, and they happened to be in my line of sight.
Which brings us to the present. A few days ago, in a post entitled "wake up calls" I spoke about the abrupt and "all at once" realization that we apparently had 4 roosters. Some of you may remember that I had sworn off ANY and ALL roosters from the get go due to the fact that I already had an extremely loud and sure fire random wake up call in the form of a 4 year old boy, who at least thankfully, my neighbors didn't also have to endure.
I now have a truth to admit. I... kinda, Love the..roosters. All of them.There. I said it ok. I mean what other animal quite literally SCREAMS farm? I love their distinctive calls. I love that they do them at sporadic intervals throughout the entire day and not just in the mornings. I love figuring out who is who and pin pointing exactly where it is they have positioned themselves in the yard. And more than just hearing them do it, I love to watch them put every ounce of all that they are into their crow. Now you may hear me (or my copycat son) yell, "shut it Brewster!" more often than not, (he's by far the loudest) but it's actually a term of endearment. I love it! All of it! ALL 4 OF IT!
I have agonized over "what to do". They are barred rock and one americana, so all feathers no meat, I mean, you could maybe make a stew? Soup? At any rate, I am not willing to "partake" of them. AND, I am skeptical of anyone else whom I do not know (i.e. craigslist add) adhering to this same standard. Which leaves me really only with 2 choices. Give them ONLY to someone I know and trust OR... keep them. All of them. (good thing my husband doesn't ever read my blog)
Brewster, I mean seriously? The kid played "taps" at Sadie's funeral, plus, he was outed long ago. Dixie. Dixie is the kind of rooster that when you think, "rooster" in general, his image more than likely comes to mind "standard"plus he's "slow and low" (the quietest). Nugget. He's our black and white striped VERY identifiable rooster, who's feathers make my favorite earrings, plus, his name is NUGGET. And then there is sweet "Lacey. The youngest and to be quite frank, most beautiful rooster. He's still just a babe. And his attempts at crowing can be counted on one finger. Before I even knew he was a rooster, I had already pegged him as my favorite "little". How can I just hand him over after I've hand-fed him? It just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. (plus I don't wanna) They trust me. I care for them. I can't. Won't sell them short, or OUT.
I've been working daily with Eve (our tan and white goat). She used to be the absolute MOST skittish, now she's the only one who lets me love on her. The roosters, with each and every crow, had helped re-instill the excitement, wonder, HEART that Sadie had first given me.
And it's nice to be "back". (insert crow here)
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